OK, so I know that in this post just a matter of hours ago, I said that there would probably be more 'Parenting Problems' posts in the future - but I wasn't expecting to need to write one quite so soon!
If you've read that last post, you'll know my daughter E needed medical attention for a probable UTI, and working out how to get her there felt like a huge issue for me, but with the help of some wonderful people we got it sorted. All good.
And then. I received a letter today telling me E's next immunisations are due. Aarrgghh!!! I know I can find someone to take her for me as I did today, but this feels very different.
Today I hated not being able to take E to the doctors or be there with her myself, but she was fine and isn't actually feeling poorly in herself so to her it was all just a fun adventure; she didn't need her mummy there for comfort. Immunisations are a whole other kettle of fish. She will be in pain and shocked and cross, and I won't be there to kiss it better or stroke her hair. I can't let her go through this without me to comfort her. And I can't physically go, either. I can't even get downstairs at the moment.
I know my husband could take her (and she'd be quite happy with Daddy), or one of the many wonderful friends who help us regularly. But none of them are me. None of them can comfort her quite like I can. And I know that her pain will pass very quickly and she'll be fine, but, being selfish, I know that I will be lying in bed worrying and feeling devastated that I can't be with her, and I know the stress of that could take a huge toll on my health.
I honestly don't know what to do. I burst into tears when I read the letter, and it still brings me to tears now.
UPDATE: I phoned the doctor's surgery and had a chat with the nurse. I asked if it was possible for the immunisations to be done at home. She checked with the health visitor team, and none of them had up to date immunisation training, so it wasn't possible; however I thought I would put the idea here in case anyone else is in a similar situation as it's worth asking, and someone in a different area may have more success. And even though I knew it was a long shot, it helped me to accept the situation as I'd done everything I could think of.
She hasn't yet had her immunisations, as the doctor said it can wait a few months until I have a stairlift and a bigger care package in place which MIGHT enable me to go. It still may not be possible but hopefully it might be :-)
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