Note to self...

Do not attempt to eat soup while someone is hoovering. Even with ear plugs in. Especially not when they've just changed your bedding. And especially not tomato based soup that leaves a livid orange stain on the nice clean fresh bedding.

Parenthood and M.E.: A Difficult Combination

I first realised how much I really wanted to be a mum when the doctor sat on my hospital bed, told me what they'd found in the gynae surgery I'd had the day before, and gently imparted the news that I was highly unlikely to ever conceive, and if I did, there was a high risk of me having an ectopic pregnancy. I howled. Right then and there, in front of this poor kind doctor and with only a thin curtain between myself and the other patients on the ward, the bottom dropped out of my world and I howled and sobbed my heart out.

Unspoken Words

I've got so many posts that I want to write, so many thoughts I want to express. I feel like the muted, suppressed violin. So far, at last count, I think I've got about 16 posts that I'm in the process of writing, on a whole variety of topics. Some of those are almost finished or partly finished; some are just a collection of thoughts; some are just a title or a single thought that I want to write about. I don't know when I'll manage to actually write or publish another proper post, but hopefully it won't be too long.

In the meantime, I thought I would share something that I found amusing. My

8th August is Severe ME Remembrance and Awareness Day

Today, 8th August, is Severe ME Remembrance and Awareness Day for all those who have lost their lives to this horrific disease, and for those still living with it.

People who knew me before I was ill may think my situation is bad (and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's great), however I honestly count myself as fortunate as I know so many others who have much, much more severe ME than I do. I know of people who have died from it, I know people who literally only have days to live, and I know people for whom every day is a living nightmare.

Scrambled whistle-stop update

A few people have asked how things are as I've been a bit silent lately, so here goes...

Am having increased cognitive difficulties with typing and working out what to say/how to say it - hence v v badly written post and lack of proper explanations of things - sorry! And have been less able to keep in touch with people by email/text/fb etc lately - sorry for that too! Not good as typing is my main method of communication with most people - phone and in person is v difficult and

The devastating reality of severe ME

I'm not even sure how to introduce this. If you are in any doubt about how severe and progressive ME can get for some people, click the link below to read a post from someone in the final stages of their ME journey. I don't know what my future holds or when/why I will be in my final days; I can only hope that, when my time comes, I face it with the grace and courage that she is showing. She is a huge inspiration to me.

http://documentingme.net/2014/07/11/final-stages/

Sad endings and hopeful new beginnings...

Sad endings...
Today we had the last ever session with our Home Start worker, Teresa. For the last six months she's been visiting once a week to play with my daughter, E, so that I could watch E play - something I really miss. E gets lots of fun and stimulation at pre-school and out with friends of mine, but I don't get to see it; having visits from Teresa has been wonderful. She has given us priceless memories, and has been very encouraging and supportive to me. I can't really believe her time with us has come to an end. We bought her some flowers, and my husband helped me make